Voldemort Gets a Brilliant Plan
by The Alien of Pluto
Summary: A thousand or so ways Voldemort could try to beat Harry and fail.
1. Attempt 1

**Voldemort Gets a Brilliant Plan**

He was sleeping relatively peacefully, lying spread-eagled on the dining room floor of the empty mansion. He jerked awake, sitting bolt upright; he glanced around to get his bearing. Tom Riddle staggered to his feet, tripping in his haste over the long gray robe he wore. He rubbed his tired red, snakelike eyes and walked over to his desk, turning over random papers on his desk.

Yes, there it was! A small pink sheet of paper labeled 'Ministry Infiltrating Hours'

10:00-10:03am and 8:15-8:19pm, perfect, it was 8:14 now.

He dissapparated, reappearing in the Ministry's front lobby though he wasn't entirely sure that was possible. Ignoring that thought he set off for the Department of Mysteries, more specifically the hall that contained the remaining Time-Turners.

A few minutes later found the Dark Lord examining each Time-Turner, deciding which to use being more difficult than he'd originally planned. He selected a fairly large wooden hourglass off the shelf and turned it a few dozen times.

He reappeared at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on a hot sunny day as kids began streaming out of the castle. He spotted the boy he was looking for and rushed over, drawing his wand. People began screaming as they same a pale, bald, snakelike man in a gray robe rushing across the grounds with his wand drawn in front of him, but he ignored them. He slashed his wand down crying,

"Avada Kadavra!"

The boy flew backward surrounded in a bright green aura and landed heavily on the grass a few feet away, his eyes wide in horror and shock. The boy's friends cried out and drew their own wands but Voldemort just flipped the Time-Turner again and disappeared.

Breathing heavily and smiling in a satisfied way, confident that Harry Potter would never bother him again, he sat down on a puffy armchair near his desk.

"Uh…Mr. Dark Lord, sir?" a timid voice called from the doorway.

He looked up, glaring at the man who'd disturbed his victory thought-rant.

"Uh…just thought you should know…uh, those triplets you tried to kill a few years ago who pretty much killed you-"

The man choked off, being lifted in the air against the wall by Riddle's wand.

"Triplets?" The Dark Lord gasped. "You said triplets?"

The man nodded and was slain on the spot.

"Argh! He can't let me win! Killing James Potter should have stopped all of this!"


	2. Alternate

(Alternate)

He was sleeping relatively peacefully, lying spread-eagled on the dining room floor of the empty mansion. He jerked awake, sitting bolt upright; he glanced around to get his bearing. Tom Riddle staggered to his feet, tripping in his haste over the long gray robe he wore. He rubbed his tired red, snakelike eyes and walked over to his desk, turning over random papers on his desk.

Yes, there it was! A small pink sheet of paper labeled 'Ministry Infiltrating Hours'

10:00-10:03am and 8:15-8:19pm, perfect, it was 8:14 now.

He dissapparated, reappearing in the Ministry's front lobby though he wasn't entirely sure that was possible. Ignoring that thought he set off for the Department of Mysteries, more specifically the hall that contained the remaining Time-Turners.

A few minutes later found the Dark Lord examining each Time-Turner, deciding which to use being more difficult than he'd originally planned. He selected a tiny, golden hourglass off the shelf and turned it a few dozen times.

He reappeared on a little street at night time and walked quickly up a narrow lane to a small white house invisible to muggles. He opened the unlocked door and strode in; silently blasting James Potter out of the way before he'd even rounded the corner. He continued up the stairs and cornered Lily in the baby's bedroom. He repeated what he'd said the last time and again Lily refused and died for the child. It didn't matter. Voldemort stepped over the woman's body and walked to the crib where the oblivious child sat drooling and smiling at him. Voldemort raised his weapon and fired. The bullet was reflected a few centimeters away from the child's head and rebounded back at the Dark Lord.

"Dammit!"


	3. Alternate 2

(Alternate)

He was sleeping relatively peacefully, lying spread-eagled on the dining room floor of the empty mansion. He jerked awake, sitting bolt upright; he glanced around to get his bearing. Tom Riddle staggered to his feet, tripping in his haste over the long gray robe he wore. He rubbed his tired red, snakelike eyes and walked over to his desk, turning over random papers on his desk.

Yes, there it was! A small pink sheet of paper labeled 'Ministry Infiltrating Hours'

10:00-10:03am and 8:15-8:19pm, perfect, it was 8:14 now.

He dissapparated, reappearing in the Ministry's front lobby though he wasn't entirely sure that was possible. Ignoring that thought he set off for the Department of Mysteries, more specifically the hall that contained the remaining Time-Turners.

A few minutes later found the Dark Lord examining each Time-Turner, deciding which to use being more difficult than he'd originally planned. He selected a medium-sized copper hourglass off the shelf and turned it a few dozen times.

He reappeared on a little street at night time and walked quickly up a narrow lane to a small white house invisible to muggles. He opened the unlocked door and strode in; silently blasting James Potter out of the way before he'd even rounded the corner. He continued up the stairs and cornered Lily in the baby's bedroom. He repeated everything he'd said last time and again she refused, willing to die to save the brat. Sighing Voldemort cast Flipendo at her and she sailed back into the wall and was knocked out cold.

"Didn't die for the boy _this_ time!" he announced triumphantly to the air.

He walked over to the crib and peered inside, staring at the little boy drooling and looking at him.

"Avada Kadavra?" he whispered.

There was a green glow and the boy fell over only to get back up gurgling weakly a few seconds later. Emboldened he raised his wand and shouted the spell. Harry Potter keeled over dead and Voldemort gave a cackle before pulling out the Time-Turner and returning to his own time. He was confronted by Lily Potter, dressed in a white robe that hid her eyes, various daggers and other muggle weapons strapped on her back; her wand was pointed at his face.

"Crap" he sighe****d.

* * *

**_Yes, I realize I play too much Assassin's Creed..._**


	4. Alternate 3

(Alternate)

He was sleeping relatively peacefully, lying spread-eagled on the dining room floor of the empty mansion. He jerked awake, sitting bolt upright; he glanced around to get his bearing. Tom Riddle staggered to his feet, tripping in his haste over the long gray robe he wore. He rubbed his tired red, snakelike eyes and walked over to his desk, turning over random papers on his desk.

Yes, there it was! A small pink sheet of paper labeled 'Ministry Infiltrating Hours'

10:00-10:03am and 8:15-8:19pm, perfect, it was 8:14 now.

He dissapparated, reappearing in the Ministry's front lobby though he wasn't entirely sure that was possible. Ignoring that thought he set off for the Department of Mysteries, more specifically the hall that contained the remaining Time-Turners.

A few minutes later found the Dark Lord examining each Time-Turner, deciding which to use being more difficult than he'd originally planned. He selected a huge stone hourglass off the shelf and turned it a few dozen times.

He reappeared on a little street at night time and walked quickly up a narrow lane to a small white house invisible to muggles. He opened the unlocked door and strode in; silently blasting James Potter out of the way before he'd even rounded the corner. He continued up the stairs and cornered Lily in the baby's bedroom. He repeated everything he'd said last time and she nodded.

He froze, "What?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"I can kill him?"

"Yep."

"Bu-…but…"

"Well are you going to or am I?"

"What the HECK woman?!?!?" he shouted.

"Sir? Halloo, sir?"

He staggered back a few steps in bewilderment and horror.

"Lord Voldemort sir, Lucius Malfoy is here to see you."

Voldemort realized he was still asleep and gasped awake. He blinked, shook his head, and went to see Malfoy, thanking his lucky stars none of that had actually taken place.

* * *

**_No one who's read this is ever going to talk to me again, are they? Oh well, I've still got the Voices._**


	5. Alternate 4

(Alternate)

He was sleeping relatively peacefully, lying spread-eagled on the dining room floor of the empty mansion. He jerked awake, sitting bolt upright; he glanced around to get his bearing. Tom Riddle staggered to his feet, tripping in his haste over the long gray robe he wore. He rubbed his tired red, snakelike eyes and walked over to his desk, turning over random papers on his desk.

Yes, there it was! A small pink sheet of paper labeled 'Ministry Infiltrating Hours'

10:00-10:03am and 8:15-8:19pm, perfect, it was 8:14 now.

He disApparated, reappearing in the Ministry's front lobby though he wasn't entirely sure that was possible. Ignoring that thought he set off for the Department of Mysteries, more specifically the hall that contained the remaining Time-Turners.

A few minutes later found the Dark Lord examining each Time-Turner, deciding which to use being more difficult than he'd originally planned. He selected a bright pink Time-Turned that looked as though it was spun from candy-floss, turned it a couple times and reappeared on the twilit street. He walked quickly up a narrow lane to a small white house invisible to muggles, opened the unlocked door and strode in; blasting James Potter out of the way and following Lily up the stairs. He didn't give her a chance to speak, but cast the killing curse and stepped over her.

"Hm," he stared at the gurgling baby in the crib, an idea slowly worming its way into his mind. Perhaps he didn't have to _kill_ the child. What if…?

Voldemort glanced at the lifeless Lily before turning his attention back to the brat; the kid had stuck his pudgy little finger up his nose and seemed to have gotten it stuck. Cringing, he reached out with tentative hands and gingerly lifted the boy, holding him to his chest. The stupid thing started crying. Resisting the intense urge to just drop him, Voldemort flicked the Time-Turner and popped back at Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix stood in the doorway and gave a little start when they appeared.

"Here!" he growled, practically throwing her the child. He turned and leapt at the hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. Thoroughly confused Bella took the child to Narcissa.

**(Four years later)**

"There's a good boy, follow your Auntie Bella!"

Tom Riddle turned his head toward the source of the noise as Bellatrix lured the toddler after her into the private study.

"Good Harry, good Boy-Who-Didn't-Have-to-Live!" she cooed.

Yes, they'd named him Harry, so what?

"Come show Uncle Voldy" (Riddle cringed, unseen) "your new trick. Come on!"

Sighing, the Dark Lord Uncle swung around in his seat to face the two, "What-"

Harry giggled, holding Bellatrix's wand high, "Vada Ke'avra!"

A flash of green.

"Sh*t!"


End file.
